Welcome to Night Vale: Why Kevin Smiles
by ko-writes
Summary: Kevin used to cry a lot, before Strexcorp 'fixed' him. Mentions of depression, Medication, Torture, Eye Trauma, Blood, Angst, Self-injecting improperly, Kevin Whump, Panic Attacks, Drugs, Malnutrition, Disordered Eating.
1. Chapter 1

Kevin likes to smile.

Strexcorp likes employees who smile.

Everyone likes Kevin's smile; he has a "cool" smile, even Cecil said so!

Kevin needs to smile, so he convinces himself he likes to.

* * *

Kevin smiled at himself in the mirror, trying to see if he could make it feel less fake.

It didn't feel less fake.

Part of him wanted to go off his meds - that little syringe of sunny yellow liquid he needed to take three times a day. But then he remembers, so doesn't.

The drugs - _no, medication; it's medication_ \- make him feel manic and blurry most of the time, not at a happy medium like most people.

Kevin's smile didn't falter as his black eyes traced the dark bruising that underlined them, or his grey, gaunt cheeks.

He was the picture of happiness in the studio.

His chest ached and his throat was tight with the all too familiar sensation.

 _Take your medicine! Now! Now! Take it now!_

He grabbed the sunny syringe from where it was lying innocently on the window sill. He tried to prepare it before it happened -

But it was too late.

Salty water stained his cheeks with red blotches and he saw a sight he's seen too often when he let his smile drop.

Then came the consequences.

The blades and needles in his head - _implanted_ behind his eye - embedded themselves and a pained scream was torn from his throat.

Blood ran along the tear tracks on his cheeks.

He took his medication, injecting into one of the few good veins he had left among the track marks.

Strexcorp has cured him


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Cecil was yelling at him again. It was nothing he hadn't heard from the Voice before, but he needed his medication. His chest burned and his throat was tight.

"You worthless asshole! You're just a bastard who hides behind a cheery smile -!"

"Please stop," Kevin whispered, voice thick and barely audible.

"Kevin?" Cecil inquired and, if the world weren't so blurry behind tear-filled eyes, Kevin would have seen his brow furrow in concern.

"I-I'm fine!" Kevin chirped as the first drop of moister fell from his eye, he didn't even sound convincing to himself.

"Kevin... Are you crying?" Cecil asked, his face dropping.

"No, I'm No-OT!" The end came out in a strangled scream as the blades and needles punished him. He collapsed to his knees.

Cecil reeled back, not expecting to see a sight like this, ever. "Kevin, you're -"

"I need my medication!" Kevin gasped, before beginning to ramble, "I'm awful at taking it, I hate taking it, the veins in my arms aren't good anymore, the marks are scarring -"

He was cut off by Cecil pulling an arm around him and holding him to his chest. "Shh, it's alright Kevin; you need to calm down." He couldn't see behind the blood, but realised Cecil had keeled down to him.

"I-I'm getting blood on your shirt," He pants, unable to do more with the oxygen turning toxic around him.

"It's fine, it's not my favourite; just breath for me," Cecil instructs, calm and steady as Kevin grips at his lapels desperately, crumpling the fabric.

"C... C-can't..."

"Please try. Like this," Cecil inhaled slowly for five seconds and Kevin followed as well as he could before a choking sob welled up unbidden. "Do it again, follow me."

Cecil guided him through the panic attack and the Desert Bluff Voice slumped against his chest. "Th'nk you..." He slurred, night's of insomnia crashing down on him, smothering him. Smothering.

"Where's you're medication?" Cecil asked.

"J'ck't," Kevin mumbled into the fabric-clad chest of his self-proclaimed enemy.

Strong hands fumbled in his jacket pockets and he leaned into the touch. How long had it been since he was touched? Since he was held? Longer than he'd like to think...

Cecil traced the syringe, once he'd found it, with his thumb. It had, emblazoned on it's side in orange letters, the Strexcorp logo with the name 'Sunny Smile'. Cecil frowned; it didn't seem like a medication of any kind, something was off about it.

Not wanting to upset Kevin, and maybe stop the blood that was still trailing lazily down his cheeks from behind purple-stained eyelids, Cecil uncapped the needle. He was about to squeeze the plunger, squirting some out in the hopes to avoid a deadly air bubble, when he stopped and grabbed an unused paper cup from his desk and squeezed it into there instead. He wasn't a scientist, he couldn't know what it was; but he had Carlos.

He injected Kevin as well as he could and fished his mobile from his pocket, selecting his most-used contact.

The phone was picked up on the third ring, "Hi Cecil."

"Carlos, I need your science."


	3. Chapter 3

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The phone in Cecil's apartment rang out and he dashed to the phone as he always did, bounding like an over excited puppy.

He looked at the caller ID; Carlos! He pressed the button and held it to his ear, "Hi Carlos."

"Hi, my honey voiced honey," Carlos greeted playfully, before sobering, "Cecil, in all seriousness, where did you get that drug sample you gave me to analyse? Did you take any?"

"No, I didn't take any; it wasn't mine. What is it, Carlos?" Cecil was concerned now, what were they making Kevin take? Even though Cecil didn't like Kevin, if this stuff was dangerous...

"It's a mix of... all sorts of stuff, Cecil. It's mainly a concoction of illegal drugs that should be toxic; if anyone is taking this, they need to come off it _now_ and start the detoxing process... If they're still alive. Cecil, who does this stuff belong to?" Carlos' voice slipped only briefly into urgency, but Cecil was rather anxious. Kevin was high _all the time_ ; he'd been brainwashed and drugged and all of a sudden... Cecil felt bad for the way he treated the Desert Bluffs radio host.

"It's Kevin's," Cecil stated.

Carlos was silent for a moment before speaking, "Kevin? I thought you hated him?"

"Well... He had a breakdown at the studio, he's sleeping it off in the guest room now, I guess I felt bad that I said what I said; also, he cried..."

"Kevin cried?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah, and he cried blood," Cecil snorted humourlessly.

"Blood?" Carlos questioned.

"Yeah, he looked in pain too."

"I'm coming over, I want to help you when he wakes up," Carlos informed.

"Neat, see you soon. I love you."

"Love you too, babe."


	4. Chapter 4

Carlos had arrived at Cecil's apartment a little while after he disconnected call. He and the radio host now stood at the end of the guest bed which Kevin lay in. The once-white pillows had acquired small red stains from the blood that took a while to clot, but Kevin seemed to be resting peacefully enough.

"What are we going to do?" Cecil asked, rubbing a hand over his face.

"We should take him to the hospital -"

"No!" Cecil objected, the volume piercing the air, then froze. Carlos and he glanced back to the bed; Kevin shifted and mumbled something inaudible before falling back into the depths of the void. "No," Cecil murmured softly in his partner's ear, "All the hospitals are run by Strexcorp and that drug came from them, they won't help..."

Carlos wrapped an arm around Cecil's shoulders as they looked at the figure on the bed; Kevin just looked so small... helpless... It scared Carlos; with his eyes and mouth closed, he looked far too much like Cecil.

"He needs medical assistance, Cecil; we don't know what's wrong with his eyes and detoxing from that stuff could be difficult," Carlos reasoned. He turned to his boyfriend to find him dialling a number on his phone, "Cecil?"

Cecil put the phone to his ear, ignoring the green viscous liquid trailing lazily down his hand, as per usual. It took a few moments before the recipient seemed to answer. "Teddy," Cecil greeted, "We need you to make a house call..."

* * *

Teddy was quick in coming, but Kevin had begun to wake; his all-black eyes seemed blurry when he opened them, blinking slowly, moving his gaze around the room before it came to rest on the three men. "Wha' happ'n'd," he slurred.

"You missed your... _medicine_ and collapsed at the station," Carlos informed, "Cecil took you here - to his guest bedroom - to sleep it off; you looked exhausted."

Kevin tried to seem as cheerful as always, but the haziness was turning into heavy, oppressive fog. "Well, I was too busy being productive to sleep!" He beamed, the corners of his mouth aching, "I must have lost track of time!" With no small bit of effort, he pushed himself up.

"Ok Kevin, but I just want to check you're alright; that's why these two called me, after all," Teddy persuaded.

Kevin weighed his option; he could refuse but that would look suspicious, but he also knew he wasn't in the best of health recently. He chose the least suspicious. "Sure thing," he chirped.

The stethoscope was cold on his chest as the medically trained manager of the bowling complex placed it on his thin, pale skin. Teddy hummed disapprovingly, "Your heartbeat's quite fast..."

"It's a very productive organ," Kevin chuckled falsely, pretending he didn't know a damn thing about what that meant. He needed his medication.

Teddy blinked owlishly at him for a second before continuing his examination; blood pressure, breathing, etc.; all off in one way or another.

Kevin glanced at Cecil and Carlos. They looked so... concerned...

"Now, Kevin, I can't help noticing you're a little thin..." Teddy noticed, Carlos thought it was an understatement, "I'd like to weigh you, if you have enough energy to stand."

"Of course, doc; anything you need!" Kevin swung his legs out of bed, and finally noticed he wasn't in his suit trousers, but a pair of soft cotton pyjamas; Cecil blushed violet.

They helped Kevin to the bathroom and switched on the scales. Kevin tried to think of a way to deceive the scale, but there wasn't one.

The scale beeped and he stepped onto it unevenly.

He knew he was underweight; he'd lost his appetite recently and wasn't eating. He shivered.

"You cold?" Teddy asked.

"I-it's rather chilly..." Kevin stuttered.

They looked at the scale; "100lb" it displayed in digital letters. Carlos' face dropped; Cecil was thin enough, worked out like crazy, and he was around one hundred and ten pounds.

"You could do with gaining weight," Teddy informed.

The thought of eating made Kevin's gut twist, "R-really?"

"I'd say about ten pounds would get you to around Cecil's proportions," Teddy theorised, "And maybe a little extra to put you in the healthy range."

"What? I am healthy!" Cecil protested but, other than Carlos giving his hand a squeeze, was ignored.

"Thanks, doc," Kevin thanked around the tightness of his throat; the burning in his eyes. _Did you take your medicine?_

"Kevin?" Teddy inquired.

He must look pathetic, shivering in the bathroom of Cecil's modest apartment, moisture beginning to stain his cheeks. "I just need my medication," Kevin choked out with a watery smile.

"We threw it out," Cecil said, "It's harming you."

Kevin felt like crying even more, "No, no, no; it's my cure, it's helping me!"

"Kevin, I ran tests and what's in that _drug_ ," Kevin flinched at Carlos' harsh wording, "Is toxic! You could _die_!"

"What does it matter?" Kevin asked, and the blades dug their sharp edges into delicate membrane.

Kevin yelled out as blood ran down his cheeks. Everything went black...


End file.
